[00:00.707]MATILDA:
[00:01.009]And so the great day arrived!
[00:07.387]It was like the entire world had gathered to see,
[00:10.874]The burning woman,
[00:12.912]hurling through the air,
[00:14.460]with dynamite in her hair,
[00:16.453]over sharks and spiky objects,
[00:19.346]caught by the man locked in the cage'!
[00:24.291]Everything was arranged by...
[00:28.436]the Acrobat's sister - a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer thrower,
[00:34.953]and who loved nothing better than to SCARE the children of the town!
[00:40.170]People whispered,
[00:41.290]that in her dark and brooding heart,
[00:43.318]she resented her sister,
[00:44.890]both her success,
[00:46.255]and her love.
[00:50.696]Suddenly, out came the Escapologist,
[00:53.935]Dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume,
[00:57.871]but there was no sign of the Acrobat,
[01:00.470]and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf.
[01:03.662]And instead of the usual fanfare,
[01:05.914]there was silence,
[01:07.146]as he solemnly strode into the ring.
[01:09.134]MATILDA + ESCAPOLOGIST:
[01:10.632]"Ladies and gentlemen,
[01:13.410]boys and girls!
[01:16.489]The burning woman,
[01:18.493]hurling through the air,
[01:21.045]with dynamite in her hair,
[01:23.448]over sharks and spiky objects,
[01:26.932]caught by the man locked in the cage,
[01:29.515]has been...cancelled!"
[01:32.313]MRS PHELPS:
[01:32.634]No!
[01:33.376]MATILDA:
[01:33.711]Yes. The audience gasped so loud,
[01:36.330]that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation,
[01:41.510]and reported it as an atmospheric phenomenon!
[01:42.275]MATILDA + ESCAPOLOGIST:
[01:42.566]"Cancelled, because my wife is...pregnant!" “
[01:49.165]MRS PHELPS:
[01:49.406]Oh! Matilda!
[01:51.825]MATILDA:
[01:52.196]Absolute silence.
[01:54.543]You could have heard a fly burp.
[01:57.299]Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet,
[01:59.822]and roared in appreciation!
[02:18.944]The great feat was instantly forgotten,
[02:21.356]and the applause went on for nearly an hour.
[02:24.063]MRS PHELPS:
[02:24.432]Oh, so it has a happy ending after all!
[02:27.488]MATILDA:
[02:27.787]Forgotten by everyone,
[02:29.640]except that is...the Acrobat's sister.
[02:31.351]When all had quietened down,
[02:36.017]she stepped forward and produced a contract.
[02:39.436]MRS PHELPS:
[02:39.852]A, a contract?
[02:42.031]MATILDA + THE ACROBAT'S SISTER:
[02:42.395]"A contract you have signed to perform this feat,
[02:44.619]and perform this feat you shall!"
[02:46.527]MRS PHELPS:
[02:46.848]No!
[02:47.818]MATILDA + THE ACROBAT'S SISTER:
[02:48.017]I have paid for the posters,
[02:49.092]the publicity, the catering,
[02:50.951]the toilet facilities!
[02:52.818]If I give the crowd their money back,
[02:55.399]where is my profit？
[02:56.715]A contract, is a contract, is a contract!
[03:00.481]My hands are tied!
[03:03.539]The burning woman,
[03:03.960]hurling through the air,
[03:05.617]with dynamite in her hair,
[03:07.788]over sharks and spiky objects,
[03:10.557]caught by the man locked in the cage,
[03:13.656]will be performed and performed this day or...
[03:16.945]off to prison you both shall go!"
[03:20.616]MRS PHELPS:
[03:21.695]No, no!