[00:00.000] 作曲 : Tom Cardy
[00:00.194]On the horizon of this forest path you see a group of dark cloaked figures
[00:03.872]Slowly trudging towards you, what do you do?
[00:05.815]My half-orc barbarian braces her greathammer and-
[00:08.192]That’s a 1
[00:08.830]Critical fail, Steve what do you do?
[00:10.406]Well I believe in anticipation my rogue would try and hide behind a tree
[00:13.869]ok I rolled a 1
[00:14.716]That’s another critical fail, Tom what does your human bard do?
[00:18.088]Active Perception Check
[00:18.935](roll)
[00:19.844]That’s a natural 20
[00:20.511]Let’s f**king go
[00:21.086](flute)
[00:22.833]I feel it in my fingers
[00:24.822]I feel it in my toes
[00:27.051]These muthafvckas mean to harm us
[00:29.849]And they got to go
[00:30.840]So come on, get’em now
[00:31.776]You picked the wrong day
[00:33.125]To f**k around with my
[00:34.295]TIGHT CREW
[00:36.454]There’s no escaping it
[00:37.562]I can perceive you
[00:38.668]Here’s what we’re gonna do
[00:39.606](flute)
[00:40.909]Me and my boys gonna mess you up
[00:43.103]I rolled a 1
[00:43.636]I rolled a 1
[00:44.536]F**K
[00:45.642]My boys are other wise engaged
[00:47.612]So i’m gonna bring it all myself
[00:49.446]Hey
[00:49.946]I forgot, you’re suppose to tell me what I see, right?
[00:51.769]Yes, thank you let’s just slow it all down a bit
[00:54.074]So you notice that one of the hooded figures is a little shorter
[00:56.603]I cast
[00:57.009]VICIOUS MOCKERY
[00:57.845]Nat 20 Let’s go
[00:58.606]You’re a short muthafvcka and nobody likes you
[01:01.183](flute)
[01:02.387]SHORT!
[01:02.945]Everybody says “Look how f**king short that guy is”
[01:04.817]And that stops you from forming meaningful relationships
[01:07.409]When you were born everybody thought that you were just a head
[01:10.531]But the the doctor said
[01:11.791]wait
[01:12.441]This stupid muthafvcking tiny short ass baby got a tiny little itty bitty body and I
[01:16.227]HATE IT
[01:16.946]Your attack lands and absolutely shatters the mind of the cloaked figure, perception check, please
[01:20.527]Nat 20 Let’s go
[01:21.455]You perceive the figure was so short because it was a
[01:23.715]CHILD
[01:24.307]It’s always a kid
[01:25.008]Specifically the child you’ve been looking for for the last
[01:27.044]15 days game time and 5 days of our actual lives
[01:29.518]ok i’m sorry, i didn’t know, i’ll be better
[01:32.657]His body’s just lying there right?
[01:35.862]right？
[01:36.810]yes
[01:38.229]don’t
[01:39.155]Loot That Body
[01:39.869]gonna loot that body now
[01:41.109]LOOT THAT BODY
[01:42.018]gotta loot that mutha7ka
[01:42.879]Play my flue when I loot that dead kid’s body
[01:45.662](flute)
[01:47.648]B1T<H